He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize