i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
