OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
