We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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