I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
