everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
