The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
