This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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