Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
