i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
