Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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