Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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