The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
