I just saw a hot homeless man
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
