I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
What a dumb baby whore.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize