The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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