Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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