Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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