and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
