Sry I called you an 8
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
cat food counts as protein by the way
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
