Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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