I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize