i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
