jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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