I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
