Im at strip club and am horny
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize