So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
