I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
