Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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