And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
