On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
