i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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