i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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