before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dear god my vagina.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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