Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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