tell your sister to shave her snatch
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
