Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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