I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
