I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
