Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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