I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
