there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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