3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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