She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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