She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
