So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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