so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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