I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
