the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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