1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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