GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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