Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
don't judge my taste in strippers
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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