We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
