i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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