do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
