i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
