Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
