whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
