why didn't you poke me back
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
