HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
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Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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