I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i love accidental penises.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize