i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
