I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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