Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
