idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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