I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
