Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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